He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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