he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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