When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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