Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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