my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
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I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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