he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
