I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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