I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
