i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
