Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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