this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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