i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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