You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
