Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
