i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this just has baby written all over it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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