oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
