Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
