I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
