Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
