Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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