I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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