Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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