you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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