I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
