i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
