3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Floor bacon is actually really good
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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