Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
