ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
