She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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