but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
