I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
