I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
