His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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