im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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