Plan B is the new Plan A
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
