i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
