She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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