Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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