dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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