hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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