I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
