dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im holly from the hills drunk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
