I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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