I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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