i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
