i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
