The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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