never play flip cup with pint glasses
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
