When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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