This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize