The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize