It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
