So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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