Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
